Friday, June 4, 2010

In A Major Funk

Are there any Glee fans out there? Tuesday's episode was about being in a funk and what you can do to get out of it. I am in a funk...big time. I've been a little down this last week. I wasn't sure why until last night. Last night was the final dance performance my kids were in. The end of the performance was really special. I saw what true, unconditional love from a loved one looks like. It's too personal to really share on my blog. But it made me want to be a better person and more importantly a better mother. I never want there to be ANY doubt in their little minds that I love them unconditionally. I asked my daughter if she's ever felt that I don't love her and she gave me this look like..."Mom, are you serious? That is such a lame question." Whew...I was so relieved. I'm so glad that I have the type of relationship I do with my kids. Anyway I came home last night and checked my email and facebook accounts. Again...I won't go into details but I started sobbing because of something someone wrote. I knew it was intended for me and that hurt even more.
I started crying, no sobbing. It was almost as if years of hurt and pain came out in my tears.
So what did I do? I immediately walked into the kitchen and started eating pizza of all things. And then I got even more upset. I was standing by the kitchen sing crying when my husband walked in. I fell into his arms and he just let me cry there. Boy this is getting personal and you are probably wondering why I am sharing this. I just want to know how you have overcome the need to eat when life gets sad or stressing. I honestly feel so very alone right now. Actually that's not true. I feel sad for relationships lost and relationships that I thought were great but really aren't so. I LOVE and thank those that love me and support me despite my faults and mistakes. Now how do I over come the food addiction?? HELP!!


  1. Oh my love, I'm so sorry that someone hurt you so bad. Knowing you, it couldn't have been deserved. As I don't know all the details I don't know if this calls for talking to the person once you've calmed down, or writing a letter to vent all of your feelings, and I do mean ALL of them, and then burning it, or a girls night out with carrots and celery (and possibly some light chocolate!). If it's the first, make sure you have prayed long and hard about what you are going to say and how you are going to say it. Wait until you are calm enough to not do more damage to a already hurting relationship. If it's the second, go for it. What ever it is you want to say to this person - whether it's venting, screaming, crying, dare I say it - swearing, what ever it is, get it all out. And if its the third, then let's go! We are going to Price until Sunday morning, but Monday night I'm available and if you want to do something, I'm there. Let's grab Tif and Ana and do something fun where we can spoil you and make sure you know how wonderful you are and that YOU ARE LOVED!!!

    As for food addiction, well all I can say about my own is that it just comes one moment at a time. The more moments I have where I choose to be aware, the more I have that I don't feel like I MUST eat. I have found that through my blogging I've been able to put all the emotions that I usually tie up in food, on my blog. So that it's easier for me to step back and realize that food is for nutritional purposes. Not to feed my emotions, to celebrate, or to satisfy. If that means blogging before every meal? Then do it! Do what ever it takes to take CARE of Tami because let me tell you, SHE IS WORTH IT!!!!!! Love you girl! Call me if you need to chat!

  2. Holy crap girl...You just broke my heart. I am SO sorry you had to go through that. Aren't hubby's the best!?

    Anyway back to your question. Unfortunately my stress issue is that I DON'T eat. Which is just as harmful. I say to myself "I AM NOT going to allow that food item (whatever it may be)to have that control over me." It comes from me having control issues. Meaning I have always had to be in CONTROL over everything. Just ask my kids and husband. I decided that I will not allow food to control me or my will power.

    It also has to do with the fact that I don't have an addictive personality and so food really hasn't been a comfort food. Like many many people have needed. So I am not much help but I do care about you and I totally understand getting your feelings hurt by loved ones. I hope you get some really good comments that you can relate and use to help with your

  3. It upsets me so much when I see you hurt! So don't let it bring you down! Learn from their mistakes!! You are a great Mother so your kids know that feeling you saw others feel last night!

    I Love you!! You always amaze me! Having you in my life makes it a better place! Thank you for being the greatest Bff.Ii don't know what I would do with out you.

    As for making better choices and having the control not to have comfort food....well i don't have any good advise, except get away from it call me we can meet somewhere and go for a walk a jog or the will figure it out your amazing!!

  4. Cheer up my dear friend!! You are an inspiration to me. I just joined Weight Watchers and I need help!! I have never followed a program like this. Let's take control over bad food choices together!!

  5. I feel your pain! I have been in your shoes, I had a BFF that I helped her plan her wedding and was going to be her maid of honor and the week before the wedding she told me her grandma wanted her to have her sister be the maid of honor. Broke my heart.. PISSED me off! and I ATE! I have since learned and it has taken a lot of falling down and getting back up, that food is the one thing that I do have control over. I can't control the weather, what is happening in the world, or the price of gas. But I can control what I eat. I started blogging just like Sam said, it is a good release. And I started working out, to me my workouts are my me time and I release a lot of frustration. It took about a month of daily workouts for me to start feeling that way, but I can honestly say now my addiction is not food it is Activity!
    Find something that you enjoy, and anytime you feel that urge to eat uncontrollably. Do that activity for me it is lifting weights and walking..I put some good music on my Ipod and go for a good long walk! Shed a few tears and get it out of your system.. Nothing feels better then a good sweaty walk, I wish I could bottle that feeling after wards and drink it every now and then while at work. I hope this helps you some. :)

  6. Tami, love ya' girl! I'm sorry for the funk, the hurt, and the need to eat. I got to a point several years ago when I was very stressed out and concerned about my marriage, and my response to that was to emotionally eat. A lot. I gained almost 30 pounds in just a few months, and whenever I got stressed again, or emotional, my answer was to eat.

    I'm just now getting to the point when I can recognize when I'm hungry, when I'm having a treat, or when I'm eating because of stress or out of emotion or boredom. It was very empowering to me to tell myself that just one cookie was okay, and then to walk away.

    It's SO hard though, when you're stressed to just walk away. I know. I don't really know much about WW, but do you let yourself have a "treat" or a snack at all? That was also empowering for me to "allow" myself a treat WITHOUT guilt.

    To walk away, though, is still the hard part. Maybe keep some gum handy, or a bottle of flavored water or something, so that when you want to eat emotionally, you can talk yourself into one of those instead. Or some carrots.

    I hope you can figure something out that will work for you. You're a beautiful person inside and out. Loves!

  7. Sorry you are going through this. It's so refreshing that you could be so honest. Thank you for being willing to get personal. These food addictions are so hard to overcome, but we will.

  8. Tami,

    I'm sorry to hear that you are hurting. I hope that you can find peace. Know that, while it does hurt to lose a friendship, that you have so many people who love you for who you are. It is evident to me as I read your blogs and your fb posts.

    I don't have anything to add about the food, but I know that you are strong and you have an awesome support group and you will find a way. Know that we here in cyberspace are all cheering for you and I personally take great inspiration from your courage to share on your blog.

    Hope things get better soon!

  9. i love you. i think that's about all i need to say :)

  10. You drink water until its coming out your ears...and you PRAY!!! I'm sorry to hear about this unfortunate thing happening. People suck sometimes, that's all I can say!

  11. Tami,
    I just read this blog today and just wanted to let you know a few things. Number are loved and I find it so refreshing to read your blog and see that you are not afraid to be honest and open. It takes a lot of courage to do that and it has helped me to read your blogs as I fight my way through some emotional garbage that I keep hanging onto. Number 2..Change habits and thoughts can be challenging but it CAN happen and you are just the kind of person to make it happen. Be patient with the process...You know what will work best for you..along with Steve and Heavenly Father. I am sure you have already thought of this, but just in case..have you asked Steve for a blessing?
    You are awesome and truly one of the more unique people I know and I mean that as a compliment. You are the kind of person that can't be easily forgotten. I am pulling for you!! Jen