Friday, May 20, 2011

I'm Plastering This All Over My House!

I LOVE this quote!  I need to print this out and plaster it all over.  I want to see this in every room.  I want to never forget!  If I start today I will thank myself in a year.  I'll thank myself if I only lose 30-40 pounds!  I'll thank myself because I will feel better, I'll fit into smaller clothes!  It won't take as much effort to tie my shoes.  I won't huff and puff my way up a flight of stairs.  My battle with overeating and binging will be a little bit easier to over come.  

So, what do you want to start today that you'll be thanking yourself for in a year?  Do you want to learn a new hobby?  Do you want to exercise more?  Do you want to control your eating?  Do you want to get control of your finances?

You can start anything!  Imagine how good it will feel in a year?  Think about how fast this last year has flown by.  The time will go just as fast.  So, what do you say?  What should we start today?

Monday, May 16, 2011

New Theme Song?

My baby sister was down in Utah a couple of weeks ago and she asked if I had really listened to the words of Katy Perry's song, Firework.  I had heard the song but never really listened to the words.  
She played me the song and I was amazed!  I like Katy Perry but never thought that she'd produce a song that could should be everyone's anthem.
Here is the video with the words...
If you don't want to watch the video here are the words...

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag
Drifting through the wind
Wanting to start again

Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin
Like a house of cards
One blow from caving in

Do you ever feel already buried deep
Six feet under scream
But no one seems to hear a thing

Do you know that there's still a chance for you
Cause there's a spark in you

You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the Fourth of July

Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what you're worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework
Come on let your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gunna leave 'em fallin' down-own-own

You don't have to feel like a waste of space
You're original, cannot be replaced
If you only knew what the future holds
After a hurricane comes a rainbow

Maybe you're reason why all the doors are closed
So you could open one that leads you to the perfect road

Like a lightning bolt, your heart will blow
And when it's time, you'll know

You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the Fourth of July

Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what you're worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework
Come on let your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gonna leave 'em all in awe-awe-awe"

Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
It's always been inside of you, you, you
And now it's time to let it through

Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what your worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework
Come on slet your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gonna leave 'em all in awe-awe-awe

Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
What do you think?  Awesome huh?  Let's all be fireworks!

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

My Coping Bucket Project

I have decided to provide a "coping bucket" to whoever needs and wants one...FREE OF CHARGE!
I want to spread the message of love and healing as far as possible.  But I need your help!  Will you post my button on your blog?  Let's get the message that healing is possible out to everyone.  
Email me your name and address to and I'll ship one out to you within 2 weeks!
Please pass this along.  Let's help everyone we can!

I'm Kickin Depression's Bootay!

I think I need to buy this shirt for me!  I love it.
Here's what depression has done to me...I got a huge reminder today when I finally took my baby to pre-school again.
You see, I liked to spend the day in bed.  I could barely function.  My house proves it; so does my son's school attendance.  He didn't want to go so my sick mind said, "great!  I can stay in bed longer."  
NO MORE!!  I'm kicking depression where it counts!  And I hope it hurts like heck!  I'm picking myself up.  I'm picking my house up.  I'm picking Carter up from school today!
I told the teacher that I had officially decided to hold him back a year from staring Kindergarten.  She asked if I wanted him to come back to her next year.  I told her that I'd love that.  Then the dose of reality that I knew was coming came...she said that I would have to bring him every day.  He needed it.  Even though I knew it was coming it still stung like crazy.  I felt like the world's worst Mom.
I called my husband and we had a good laugh; that cheered me up.  Then I totally thought, she's right.  I need to take responsibility for MY actions.  So depression, how does it feel?  Are you sad that I'm not letting you win today?  Are you hurting because I'm stomping all over your poor, pathetic self?  Good!  I sure hope so because it's making me feel amazing!  
I feel so empowered!  I feel like I can conquer anything right now. 
Sorry depression but you are a piece of crap and I want to WILL beat you up!

Tuesday, May 10, 2011


I jotted down some notes as my friend was speaking on Sunday.  She also showed a couple of video clips that are amazing!  

Here's what I want to remember.  Everything in italics are my thoughts.
Satan entraps us with eating disorders.  He also traps us with other things too; like hatred, fear, poor self esteem, etc.

I am the heroine of my story!

Develop deep beauty.

I am the author of my destiny.

All things broken can be mended and fixed.  It doesn't matter how old we are, how far off the path we've strayed, etc.  

The only difference between stumbling blocks and stepping stones are the way we use them.  LOVE that!

Smile and laugh every day.  


Find passions.  I've always loved to try new things.  There are few things that I'm really passionate about.  I think that's OK too because I always have lots to fall back on!

Reverent care for our bodies...respect it.

Learn from for today.

And my favorite...With the Master's touch my masterpiece is created.  

Aren't those great reminders?  I was sitting at the school today waiting for an appointment and I sat across from my reflection.  At first I was disgusted and then I changed my thoughts.  I know that Christ is helping me create a wonderful masterpiece.  No painter creates a true masterpiece in an afternoon.  It takes years sometimes to get it just right.  So I just sat there thinking that little by little the weight will come off as I'm creating this masterpiece. 

Here are the videos she showed.  They are so uplifting!

Monday, May 9, 2011

Coping Bucket

I had the privilege to hear a friend talk about her struggle with an eating disorder.  She's in recovery and is doing so well.  I loved looking at the art therapy she made.  I love art and so I though that I could incorporate art on my own.  So today I created a "coping bucket." 

I bought this bucket a while ago for $1.  I had some old scrapbooking paper laying around and thought that I could come up with something "artsy."  This is what I came up with.  I just tore the paper and crumpled it up.  Then I Modge Podged it onto the bucket.  I found some cute stickers that coordinated with the paper and stuck those on.  Then I wrote some words that remind me of my journey: recovery, freedom, laugh, fun, gentle, let go, faith, endure, strength, relief, God, choices, eating plan

I made slips of paper that have different things to do on them so that when I want to binge or overeat I can pull a slip out complete that activity.  It's a way of getting my mind off of stress and the "need" to eat.  
Here's some ideas: journal, listen to music, play an instrument, draw or paint a picture, go for a drive, take a walk, meditate, read, organize a room or closet, pack some clothes up for charity, take a nap, go to the park, blog, serve someone, work on my affirmation book, work on my hope book.

I know that continuing this art therapy will be good for me.  I can't wait to share what other things I'll make!

Coming out of Hiding and Denial

Hi my name is Tami and I'm a compulsive over eater and I binge.  I am coming out in a way.  This is NOT easy for me.  I am embarrassed and ashamed.  But I am finally taking the right steps to over come this eating disorder that I have.

First I have to say that I've always been a little judgmental about over weight people.  I never understood how that could happen to a person.  I didn't battle my weight growing up.  I was healthy and very active.  After I had my first child I became severely depressed.  I had gained so much weight with the pregnancy.  Life at home wasn't so great and so I ate to cope with my emotions for the first time in my life.  I ate and ate and ate to feel better.  But that made me feel worse so I'd eat some more to forget that pain.  It's a vicious cycle.  I had no idea that what I was doing was an eating disorder.  I thought that eating disorders included bulimia and anorexia only.  I was wrong!

A few years ago I went to Weight Watchers and lost a bunch of weight (50 pounds).  I felt great!  I was happy!  I was coping well with what life threw at me.  But life has a funny way of sneaking up on you again.  I found myself turning to alcohol instead of food.  What a disaster!  I was becoming an alcoholic.  I went to a 12-step program and sobered up.  I've been sober for over 2 years now!  

About that time our youngest son was diagnosed with Hirschsprung's Disease.  Our oldest boy had been diagnosed also.  It was more than I could take and since I couldn't drink anymore I turned to food again.  I binged and compulsively overate like never before.  I ended up gaining all the weight back plus some.  

It's been two years since his diagnosis and I'm the heaviest I've ever been in my life.  I went to a funeral and saw some old friends who didn't even recognize me.  What a slap in the face that was.  

Here's the truth...I am fat.  I am the girl in high school that wished her enemies would grow up and get fat.  I guess I am the enemy.  I know I'm not the only person in our graduating class to gain weight.  But I know now that I have a really big problem on my hands (hips, thighs, stomach too)!  

But I'm finally ready to recover.  I'm ready to change my behaviors and beat this battle.  So this isn't just about my weight loss journey.  I am not focusing on that right now.  It's about my recovery journey.  

I wish that I could just cut food out of my life like I didn't alcohol but I can't.  That's why this eating disorder is so hard.

I know that there are people out there that won't agree that compulsive overeating and binging aren't eating disorders but they are WRONG!  So follow me as I fight this battle; because this time I'm winning!